I’ve not been able to prevent myself from drawing comparisons with the period of unemployment that I experienced as a university dropout, with the period of unemployment I am now experiencing as a M.Arch graduate. The former isn’t something I tend to speak of at length these days as it was bundled up with a bunch of other concerns that quite frankly are not the majority of people’s business. Why would I compare the two then? I was originally due to give a talk on my experiences as a student at Edinburgh (and subsequent life), so one thing led to another and I started to go down that particular rabbit hole, and here we are.
I left Edinburgh in 2011, at what felt like the height of the aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis, a year into the new coalition government, with nothing but shattered dreams, a distant and shuttered social circle, severe depression and ongoing symptoms similar to PTSD due to events years prior. For four years, I bounced between volunteering, agency jobs, the dole, a nascent gambling addiction (courtesy of MMOs, since nipped in the bud), and the sheer terror that accompanied the thought of going back to school, and what the future may bring. However, during that same time, what I consider to be two very important, positive, milestones in life took place: firstly, through one of the temp gigs I had I fully self-funded my first holiday abroad, alone, and secondly, I made the decision to go back to university.
I had a life plan, or at least the rough sketches of one, when I was about to leave secondary school – get a joint degree in the sciences, work for a while, build up savings and reserves, then use that to do what I actually wanted to do in life (yet to be determined, but likely something in the arts). That first, critical, hurdle tripped me up badly, but I was still determined to pursue the latter part of the plan, doubly so when I circled back round to architecture as an industry in which to train. Thus, back in September 2015, four years after dropping out of studies at Edinburgh University, I decided on a small local school instead, over in Canterbury, that used to be known as KIAD, and now UCA.
Foundation year was terrifying and also a lot of fun. Why terrifying? Well, I was fighting off the insane amounts of discomfort and fear I had in being back at school, after loathing it as a child, and Edinburgh exploding in my face. The fun came from having a physical, real, outlet to creative energies that had been previously consigned to computer games and, on occasion, a piano. The sense of relief, just after that first year successfully completing the course was quite cathartic. Roll on undergraduate.
The problem was that life just gets a perverse pleasure of constantly throwing you curveballs. In this instance, my health took a turn for the worse, compounded by historical concerns and catalysed by a particularly unpleasant shared accommodation situation I was in at the time, and well, three weeks into the undergraduate course I was hospitalised after a suicide attempt. By that I don’t just mean I cut my wrists, I mean, “Welp. I’ve had enough, stop the world I want to get off.” I didn’t, in the end, and I’ve been leaning on private counselling services ever since. I also leaned pretty heavily on classmates during that first semester, for which I have always been incredibly grateful for their forbearance at that time. This steam train wasn’t going anywhere though, and I graduated on schedule with the rest of the cohort, and luckily landed a job pretty quickly that year. Unfortunately, Death did seem to have a fascination with the University during those three years, with numerous tragedies during that time.
Well, this brings us to 2020, and we all know what happened globally, but I also started searching for where to do my M.Arch. Now, two factors lead me to taking a pretty huge risk – does the UK architectural industry hold any potential value post-Brexit, and does a RIBA/ARB qualification hold value? The second was that I’d had my fill of Kent again and wanted to move away for a while. The huge risk led to me Dublin, and enrolling at UCD, as their course was accredited by the ARB, RIAI and recognised by the NAAB, which on paper at least sounded like a very good deal indeed, if I could make it work. There were several positives about Dublin – firstly, I loved the city itself (when I could see it outside of lockdowns…) and met several wonderful characters within the cohort and faculty. However, the biggest sticking points were that due to the pandemic, I felt that I never properly bedded into the class or course, and I fundamentally disagreed with how the course was structured and delivered. This led to another massive risk, and I contacted my alma mater about the feasibility of transferring back to UCA (a quirk of the differences between Irish and English academic timetables). Fortunately, that went more smoothly, returning to Kent over Christmas that year and then graduating again with the cohort on schedule. I didn’t manage to keep my top-grade streak going however, but I’m not too disappointed considering the rocky start and then how much I tried to stretch myself in that final project (which in so far as I’m aware, is the entire point of a master’s course).
It is now the 1st January 2023, and since graduating from the master’s course in July 2022, I have only found 2 months of work experience which, whilst incredibly useful, can’t help but feel like yet another of life’s curveballs. As at the back of my mind, I’m thinking “my portfolio cannot genuinely be that bad, and I’m a proven dedicated worker who keeps picking themselves back up…”. So, what’s next? As of today, I have sent out 81 job applications since the middle of June, and I’ve since been in contact with a London based recruiter who came recommended by a friend and former classmate. I’ve also made the conscious decision to take a complete break (potentially finite) from tying up loose ends in my academic projects, as it wasn’t doing my health any favours. What I have turned my attention to is starting to send out speculative applications, along with consolidating my own workflows and software. As for someone who is staring down the terrifying abyss of becoming a sole practitioner ahead of schedule, and before completing one’s training, minimising subscription-based software is simply good bookkeeping. To that end, once I’ve got my own head around Speckle, and understanding a useful workflow between Rhino & Blender, then I’ll likely share my thoughts on that down the line. In the meantime, I’m working on a minor website refresh, and keeping myself busy with as much photography as possible, so long as I can afford to journey into London (including playing with a GoPro). One day it’d be nice to be in the position of throwing life a curveball, instead of life throwing you one straight to the crotch as usual.