Project 02 - Thoughts

This has been a long, long year. It still amazes me at how time is perceived differently -  September feels like a lifetime ago, but I’m also struggling to comprehend that the past 8 months have gone so damn quickly.

Three weeks into September I was in hospital, after deciding to take my own life. Why I chose to do this was a combination of being fed up of having to deal with horrifically shitty human beings, coupled with dealing with the effects of long-term mental health problems including PTSD-like symptoms, depression, and in my earlier years, mild gender dysphoria. There is only so much bullshit an old queer can take you know?

Whilst the things that led to that suicide attempt were all manner of troubling to horrific, what kept me from going over the edge, as I lay there with the bedsheets soaked through with my own blood, was why I went back into education. It was the thoughts of all the good folks I’ve met over my life. My family. It was what I intend to do with my architecture training. The thing that my Mother taught me when I was still in single digits – “Never let the bastards win”. The suicide felt like pushing a reset button in a way – kinda like that old tech adage of “turning it off then on again”, and with the psychotherapy I’ve been receiving since, along with the architectural studying, I’ve kept going.

At the end of term 1, I had a mental breakdown the first weekend after we broke up. Not surprising really. Everything I had to deal with kinda crashed my brain a bit. Threw another wobbly during Term 2. During all these occasions, I had some absolutely amazing people pulling me through, and providing hugs & advice when I needed them. I have met some truly amazing people these past couple of years.

Yeh, its bee a tough year personally & academically. However, it has also been fun, engaging, educational, mind-bending. And I am still here, want to be here, and am engaged. Architecture is what I want, what I need, and what I am intend on evolving and expanding upon. Regardless of how my grades look after marking, I am going to be here again next year.

Why? I am a tenacious old queer with a purpose, a vision, and more than one objective to fulfil.

Project 02 - Nearly there

Portfolio submission is on Tuesday at 14:00. I may do a year-in-review blog post after that. Apologies for the lack of activity over the past 2 weeks, but there hasn’t been much to report on.

Of course I am hoping to put in a portfolio which is substantial & of high enough quality to pass (ideally more than just pass tbh), but regardless of all the results, I am looking forward to putting this academic year to bed. To say that it has been a personally trying year is an understatement, and as I a result I have not been able to fully engage with the course at times.

All being well, summer will bring a suitable home to move into for next year, along with a holiday to Berlin - hopefully for Pride (to be planned), possibly stopping off in Köln on the way.

Project 02 - Formative Moment

Busy, draining week.

On Thursday we had our last formative review prior to submission. I found it highly useful, and I was also relieved that the tutors felt that the work was up to standard (something I had been worried about since the review prior to Easter, as I re-evaluated the program and concept over that break).

The day ended with the drawing competition, and there were a number of amazing drawings on display. 

Friday saw the Comms Media module submission, resulting in the studio being covered with A1 posters showing our rendered 1:50/1:5 grafts & elevations from bodyscapes_b.

My main focus next week is model making. I will be developing the cutting list for the 1:50 model this weekend, along with hopefully a rough assembly plan. I know from Architectural Technologies, that my modelling-fu is comparatively weak, so I need to help myself to ensure that I don’t over-run.

The Design Diary is coming along, although it is still incomplete. I also ideally need to do some more concept models & mass modelling next week too, to shore up Phase 02 of the project.

Project 02 - Even More Maquettes

So, where are we? 

More model iterations; a shell created for the final iteration(s); plans, sections and an isometric projection all WIP. Design diary will start to be formed tomorrow, concerned that I’m lacking details and backup work informing design direction, but that will form over Easter & partly next week.

Also, I may have finally found a home for next year ^_^. Relieved, but still need to apply for it and see the application accepted. But still. ^_^

Project 02 - Folkestone Revisited

Did a quick follow up trip to Folkestone yesterday for four main reasons: 

1) To catalogue the demolition works, per my friends’ advice
2) To take note of the site’s solar access of an evening
3) To relive childhood memories of being battered by the elements
4) To hear a friend sing

And much to my chargrin, I may in fact have to take a rest day today, to ensure that I am fully functional next week. I am *tired*. Really tired. I know we “lost” an hours sleep last night due to the bureaucratic amusement that is DST, but still. 

Anyway. Folkestone yesterday was lovely - being bashed around by the winds (>30mph in some cases) by the Lighthouse was exhilarating. It was also useful to remind my self of the physical site itself (it always looks and feels different when you are down there in person, than from a photograph, or model). It was also useful to note exactly how solar access effects the site of an evening - as solar access is one of the key themes I’m running with in the project.

It was also lovely to hear Jeri play again - hadn’t heard her singing or guitar playing for a good while. Amazing.

Project 02 - More Maquettes

So, combination of modelling and drawing last week. The project has really started to click over the past couple of days, I just wish that had happened 2-3 weeks ago. FFS.

Still looking at houses/flats for next year, and it is looking more and more likely that I’ll still be commuting from outside of Canterbury, but just from a nearer town rather than across the county as I am currently. 

Popping back down to Folkestone later for a follow up research trip, and to hopefully see a friend at an event. It is kinda terrifying how little time we have left on this project to be honest, and that the end of the academic year is only 2 months away/9 weeks. Portfolio submission for this main project is 42 working days away. Submission deadline for Comms Media (the last outstanding sub-module) is 24 working days away. Of course, I work weekends, so that gives some extra time, but still. Point is made.

Am I fucked? Well, time will tell. Muwahahah. Ahaha. Aha. … -_-

Project 02 - Scale Maquettes

Ok, so I guess I feel that I finally have a direction to take this project, and we have 3 weeks until the end of this term. I’m behind. You get used to the feeling. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Haaaa. -_-

I’m chucking out most of the site uses and squaring up to see it used as a dedicated youth club/space, with an emphasis on the provision of music rooms.

One of my plans for the weekend (along with catching up with the CAD module) is to collate all the precedents I’ve been eyeing - some from Paris, some from Folkestone’s history. The structure of this project has pissed me off sometimes if I’m honest - I understand we’re being taught new methods of thinking, learning, designing, but it frequently feels like we do not in fact have time to think, and that it is very much a case of a “one ring to rule them all” mentality. I guess it comes down to the whole design school vs production line thing. Anyway. A wee break, then back to work.

(Yes, I work weekends, its cool if you don’t, or if you have payed work commitments. I guess having a 5.5/6 day working week for 10yrs as a kid helped).

Project 02 - Modeling

We all have shit weeks.

Enough said.

Architectural Technology

Well, printed & bound this on Thursday.

Then kinda lost myself on Friday & Saturday.

Tomorrow? Essay funtimes.